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We’ve all heard it a thousand times.. “Whatever is meant to be will be.” “There is someone for everyone.” We catch ourselves saying things like, “you’re my soulmate” and “we are meant to be together.” Stop and think how many times in your lifetime that you have said or thought these things about another human being. How many times were you wrong? How many times did the relationship fail or were you heartbroken?

It’s inescapable. We see it in art, television, movies, social media, and everywhere we look. It’s thrown in our face and we’re made to believe that we are supposed to find “the one” and live happily every after. I, for one, believe happiness comes from inside one’s self. I’d like to take a look at love from a scientific point of view.

Our bodies are flooding with chemicals that cause our emotional reactions. In the beginning, we have adrenaline. You start to like someone and it activates your stress levels, releasing the adrenaline in your body. Then comes dopamine. Scientists have found high-levels of dopamine in “lovey-dovey” couples.

Next comes the important one- serotonin. Serotonin causes individuals to become attached to one another. Lovers become addicted to the return they receive from their significant other. This usually leads to oxytocin, which is a powerful hormone released during orgasm. The more a couple has sex, the more oxytocin is released, and the more they feel love toward one another.

Finally, there is vasopressin. This is the strange chemical that makes a person want to remain with their mate in a monogamous relationship. Along with endorphins, they have an anti-stress effect and also can help relieve pain and boost our immune system. That’s not a bad evolutionary development.

So, how do you guys feel? Are we made to be with one person and it is pre-ordained before we are born, or do we stay with the person who releases the most chemicals in our brains? I lean more toward the latter myself.

 

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